Mindfulness doesn't feel calming for everyone because people experience thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations differently. For some neurodivergent people, including autistic individuals, common mindfulness exercises like focusing on breathing or sitting quietly can increase stress instead of easing it. Mindfulness isn't one-size-fits-all, and different approaches may work better for different people.
Why Mindfulness Doesn't Feel Calming for Everyone
Mindfulness has become one of the most widely recommended ways to reduce stress, improve focus, and support emotional well-being. It's taught in schools, workplaces, counseling offices, and wellness programs around the world. The advice is often simple: slow down, focus on your breathing, and let your thoughts settle.
For many people, that advice can be helpful.
But for others, the experience is very different.
Imagine walking into a quiet mindfulness class hoping to feel calmer. The lights are dim, everyone closes their eyes, and the instructor gently asks the group to pay attention to each breath.
Around the room, people appear peaceful. Yet for one participant, every breath feels more uncomfortable than the last. Instead of feeling relaxed, they become more tense. Instead of calm, there's panic.
Experiences like these remind us that mindfulness doesn't work the same way for everyone. As we learn more about neurodiversity, or the natural differences in how people's brains work, we're also learning that the same exercises can feel very different from person to person.
Understanding these differences can help make mindfulness more welcoming and comfortable for everyone.
When a Practice Meant to Calm the Mind Creates Stress Instead
Mindfulness is often described as paying attention to the present moment without judging what you notice. That sounds simple enough, but people can experience the present moment in very different ways.
For some neurodivergent people, including many autistic individuals, traditional mindfulness exercises may cause discomfort instead of relief.
Exercises that ask people to focus closely on their breathing or physical sensations can sometimes increase anxiety, make them more sensitive to what they're feeling, or leave them feeling trapped by uncomfortable sensations.
Someone who finds breathing exercises calming may have trouble understanding why another person finds those same exercises upsetting. Yet the same technique can lead to very different emotional reactions, depending on how each person experiences those sensations.
That can be difficult for people who've repeatedly been told that mindfulness should make them feel better. When it doesn't, they may start wondering whether something is wrong with them.
In many cases, nothing is wrong at all.
The problem isn't necessarily the person. Sometimes it's simply the method.
Understanding that difference can help us look at mental wellness with more compassion. Instead of assuming everyone experiences the world the same way, we can begin by asking how each person experiences it.
Looking Beneath the Surface of Neurodiverse Experiences
Neurodiversity is the idea that differences in how people think, understand information, communicate, and experience the world are natural parts of being human, not problems that need to be fixed.
This includes autistic people and many people with ADHD, dyslexia, Tourette syndrome, and other differences in how their brains work.
These differences can affect nearly every part of daily life, including how someone responds to mindfulness.
Some people naturally notice every sound around them. Others are especially aware of physical sensations. Some work through their emotions by moving rather than sitting still. Others find it overwhelming to focus on what's happening inside their bodies because those feelings are already so strong.
Psychologists who study autism and how people respond to sounds, touch, and other sensations have long known that many autistic people experience these things differently than people who aren't autistic.
Sounds, touch, light, movement, and even signals from inside the body can feel different from person to person. That's why mindfulness exercises that focus on physical sensations may need to be adjusted for some people.
Research led by Zachary J. Williams of Vanderbilt University School of Medicine offers a closer look at how people notice signals from inside their bodies. This ability plays a role in mindfulness exercises that focus on breathing or physical sensations.
Williams and his team reviewed 15 studies and found that autistic participants, on average, were less accurate at counting their own heartbeats than participants who weren't autistic. However, the two groups showed no significant differences on several other tests of how well people notice signals from inside their bodies.
These findings show that our awareness of physical sensations is more complex than it might seem. They also highlight why it's important to consider individual differences when asking people to focus on what they're feeling inside their bodies.
Understanding these differences helps shift the conversation away from success and failure.
Instead of asking, "Why can't this person do mindfulness correctly?" a better question becomes, "What kind of mindfulness allows this person to feel safe enough to be present?"
That small change in perspective makes room for understanding instead of judgment.
Why One-Size-Fits-All Mindfulness Often Misses the Mark
Traditional mindfulness programs often use familiar exercises, such as focusing on breathing, body scans, sitting quietly, and staying still for long periods.
These practices help many people.
But they don't work for everyone.
Body scans, for example, ask people to focus on different parts of their bodies, one at a time. This can feel overwhelming when physical sensations are already intense.
Sitting quietly with racing thoughts can also be difficult, especially for someone who finds that moving around helps them focus or feel less restless.
Mindfulness isn't limited to one type of exercise. It's about learning to pay attention to what's happening in the moment with an open mind.
For autistic people who experience sensory overload, it can be hard to focus when sounds, surroundings, or physical sensations already feel overwhelming. Asking someone to sit quietly with those uncomfortable feelings may actually increase their stress instead of helping them relax.
Struggling with these exercises over and over can also hurt someone's confidence, especially if they begin to wonder whether mindfulness can help them at all.
Emotional growth rarely comes from forcing yourself to keep doing something that causes distress. It's more likely to come from finding approaches that work with the way your brain naturally functions, rather than against it.
Building Mindfulness Around the Individual Instead of the Method
As more people recognize these differences, mindfulness teachers are exploring ways to make their classes more comfortable and welcoming for everyone.
Instead of expecting everyone to follow the same routine, teachers can offer choices that better fit each person's needs and preferences.
For someone who finds sitting still uncomfortable, walking meditation may be an easier way to practice mindfulness.
People who find it uncomfortable to focus on their breathing may prefer gentle stretching, yoga, drawing, listening to calming sounds, gardening, or simply paying attention to nature.
Even small changes can make a big difference.
Shorter sessions may feel less overwhelming. Keeping the eyes open instead of closed may help someone feel safer. Focusing on an object in the room rather than on feelings inside the body may also make it easier to pay attention.
These personal choices can help people find mindfulness exercises that fit their comfort levels and the way they experience sounds, touch, and other sensations.
A small 2022 study led by researcher Yona Lunsky shows why it's important to listen to people when creating mindfulness programs. The research team used feedback from autistic adults to help design a six-week online mindfulness course.
People who completed the course generally responded well and reported feeling less emotional distress and more kindness toward themselves.
Although larger studies that compare different groups are still needed, the findings suggest that mindfulness programs may work better when the people they're designed for have a say in how they're taught.
Mindfulness can also happen while watching leaves move in the wind, feeling the rhythm of walking, creating artwork, listening to music, or noticing the soft texture of a favorite blanket.
These everyday activities can help people practice being aware of the present moment in ways that feel comfortable and manageable.
A Growing Shift Toward More Inclusive Mental Wellness
Understanding that people have different needs can help make mindfulness more welcoming to everyone.
It's important to recognize that people may respond differently because of how they experience sounds, touch, and other sensations, or because of past trauma, anxiety, or differences in how their brains work.
Mindfulness classes should make room for these differences instead of expecting everyone to respond the same way.
This approach can help more than just autistic people.
People recovering from trauma, living with long-term pain, dealing with anxiety disorders, or having trouble with attention may also benefit from mindfulness classes that consider their needs from the start.
But creating these welcoming spaces takes more than offering different exercises.
Instructors can make personal choice a normal part of every class instead of treating it as something special.
They can also arrange classrooms to respect different comfort levels and teach in ways that help people feel safe, without putting pressure on anyone to participate in a certain way.
These changes do more than make mindfulness easier to access.
They help people feel like they belong.
When people know their needs will be respected without having to explain or defend themselves, they may feel more comfortable taking part and discovering what truly helps them.
That feeling of acceptance can improve personal well-being while also bringing people in the group closer together.
Redefining What Success in Mindfulness Really Looks Like
For years, mindfulness has often been measured by how quietly someone could sit or how well they could focus on their breathing.
Maybe it's time to think about success differently.
Mindfulness isn't about following instructions perfectly.
It's about becoming more aware of what we're experiencing and treating ourselves with honesty and kindness.
Sometimes that awareness brings calm.
Sometimes it brings discomfort.
Both experiences can teach us something valuable.
Learning to pay attention to our own experiences instead of comparing them to someone else's may help us become kinder to ourselves. That often starts with letting go of the idea that there's only one right way to feel better.
As researchers learn more about neurodiversity and the different ways people's brains work, mindfulness is likely to become more flexible and welcoming. These changes offer hope to anyone who has ever felt that traditional mindfulness advice wasn't right for them.
For many people, finding peace won't mean sitting perfectly still or counting every breath.
It may mean finding a practice that feels safe, comfortable, and easy to continue over time.
When mindfulness respects the differences in how our minds work, it becomes more than just an exercise.
It becomes a way to understand ourselves with greater kindness. And it reminds us that personal growth doesn't always mean changing who we are. Sometimes it begins with learning to work with the way we naturally experience the world.
Explore thoughtful perspectives on mental well-being, emotional health, and everyday resilience in Mind Matters, or discover more wellness and lifestyle stories on Sacramento Living Well.
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Authored by the Sacramento Living Well Editorial Team — a publication of DSA Digital Media, dedicated to highlighting wellness, local living, and inspiring community stories throughout Greater Sacramento.
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